The first time my life was touched by the death of someone I was close to, I was honestly too young to remember how it felt, but I do remember the sad looks and tears on the faces of the people that surrounded us in the room at the time. That was when my maternal grandfather passed away. I won’t pretend to remember when it was, but if I had to make a guess I’d say sometime around 1970. Next came my maternal great grandfather, I don’t remember much about him other than he always had a pocket full of pecans.
Why am I talking about this? I just received a phone call telling me that one of my cousins made the choice to take her own life just a few days ago, the day after her 52nd birthday. She is not a cousin that I am close to, as a matter of fact I haven’t talked to a single member of her family in over 13 years. They never liked me at at my paternal grandmother’s funeral, they made it more obvious than they ever had. Being the person that I am, I simply decided that it was best to cut all ties to them. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t thought about them over the years, because I have, and hearing that she chose to end her life really bothers me.
She is the 4th person whom I’ve known in my lifetime that has made the decision that death is better than life. Being one of the people that is left behind wondering why, I wish it were possible to make people who think suicide is an option how WRONG it is! I may not have been close to my cousin over the past 13 years, but I do have some VERY fond memories of things we did as children together, and those are the memories I choose to keep close to my heart! I’ve called her parents and offered my sympathy, they took it warmly and thanked me.
So PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE…..if you EVER think that suicide is the answer to your problems, think about a song, written and sang by a VERY young man named Blaine Larson, that perfectly explains my feelings on it! You can watch the video HERE but be warned, it’s a country music song and will possibly make you cry! Rest in Peace CLP, may your demons finally be at rest!
One Response
Kelly Leary says...
I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost relative to suicide also my Grandfather chose to end his own life. Because of a split in the families I had not seen him more than 3 times in my life and never after age 5, but it still hurt when we got the news. We can only carry on and hold those we love as close as possible while we can.
And yes the darned song made me cry