Holly’s Happenings

I don’t know why I expect things to be any different with my family than they have over the past several years, and it should come as no surprise to me that this year is going to be the same.  But it still pisses me off to no end that we have to go through this.

First, a little background information.  Several years ago my husband made a bad choice that ended up with him being sent to prison.  During that time my step father made the announcement that because of what he had done, my husband would not be allowed on “HIS” property.  This created a situation meaning that at any time that there were family gatherings, the kids and I would be welcome to attend, but my husband would not.  My initial thought was that in time, things would mellow out.  Boy, I have never been more wrong in my life!

This morning I emailed my sister to find out if it is mom’s year to have Thanksgiving dinner, because if it wasn’t I was going to offer to have it.  She never emailed me back, instead she called me during her lunch break to say that she (my sister) was having Thanksgiving dinner.  When I made mention that since she was having Thanksgiving, I would then have Christmas dinner, she came back with the reply of “No, I’m going to have them both”.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I do see the benefit to her having them both, she’ll be the one who has to clean house and cook, etc, etc.  But that’s not the end of it.  When we were talking about her having Thanksgiving dinner she made mention that our step father had said that he’d come to her house for dinner “IF” my family wasn’t coming (specifically my husband).  I am SOOOOOOOOOO sick of this immature bull crap and honestly feel that it’s time to put an end to it.  But here is my dilemma.

If I wait until after the holidays to put an end to it, for fear of ruining my mothers Christmas, will I come off as being greedy?  If I do decide to put an end to it now and take the risk of ruining moms Christmas, it will also interfere with the fact that we’re having a party for my mom and step father before Christmas to celebrate both of them turning 70.  I just don’t know what to do.  Frankly, I’m really sick of hearing my sister tell me that I need to be thankful to have any time with my family, even if it doesn’t include my husband, and that he needs to understand that what he did affected all of them.  EXCUSE ME?  It was ME and MY children who spent 18 months without him in our lives with little to no support from ANY of “THEM”.  Oh wait, my mom would give me money the few times that I seen her because she felt guilty that she was too busy to come and spend time with us.  BUT, she had plenty of time on MANY occasions to come down to my town shopping with my sister and not tell me.

I know that I do need to be thankful that my mom is still around and I get to spend time with her.  But considering that the majority of the time I do get to spend with her either includes my sister or is at my sisters house, well, I’m just to the point that I don’t really care anymore.  I love my mom with all of my heart, but it’s time for me to put my family first.  Yes, my husband did make a mistake, but it has been several years and he has grown so much since then and has become a man that I am very proud of.  I could understand my family carrying on like this all these years later if he had continued to do things that landed him back behind bars, but he hasn’t done anything even close.

Anyway, if it were you, and you were ready to put an end to it, how would you do it?  Would you wait until after the holidays and birthdays are over?  Or would you do something prior to the holidays so that it doesn’t look like you are greedy?